By yesterday evening, I had gotten my pain down to relatively manageable 7 or so. Then, last night while doing my exercises - straight leg lifts, the most unpleasant of them to be precise - my leg suffered some sort of catastrophic failure. At first, it simply stopped responding to my commands, in that when I attempted the third set of lifts my leg just would not go up no matter how hard I tried. Or in fact, do anything at all that I tried to get it to do. Eventually, I painfully managed to force my leg up and did the rest of the lifts. By the end, however, I was in so much pain that it felt like my leg had burst (like that runner's muscles in The Animatrix). Even after taking an extra percocet, the pain did not subside. Even today, over 12 hours later, and after taking a vicodin, the pain has not subsided.
I should not have pushed myself, and tried that last rep.
In other news, I got a letter from my lawyer. Well, I say "my lawyer." It appears that their office no longer believes my case is winnable, not because I have a bad case - no, in fact, they think my case is quite good - but because of the other logistic aspects. My wife makes too much money, and I've been out of work so long that I have no more credits built up. So it looks like I need to find a new lawyer. Again.
Awesome.
Right now my bipolar is Oddly Level, considering.
Right now my pain level is 8.5.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
One Week Later
It's been a week since the surgery, can you believe it? Time really flies when you're in excruciating pain.
Last Tuesday, I had to be at the hospital at 6:45 AM. My awesome father-in-law, with my equally-awesome sister-in-law in tow, drove me and stayed the whole day (really, I can't say enough great things about him). I wasn't in the waiting room for all that long before they called me into the back to start getting ready. They, as expected, made me put on a gown, asked me a bunch of questions (the same ones repeatedly), and put in an IV. After saying goodbye to my wife and her dad and sister it was time to go in.
I was told the procedure took about an hour and a half. But it took me two hours after that to wake up from the anesthesia. During that time, the doctor came out and showed my wife pictures of the inside of my knee and explained to her what he did, but given the stress of the day, not exactly taking much away from it other than "it was gross" it perfectly understandable. When I finally woke up (and stopped worrying my wife, who was convinced that I wasn't going to), they gave me the aftercare papers and started to send me on my way. It was at this point that I had to remind the nurses that the doctor had told me that I would have to wear some kind of full-leg brace after the surgery. They said I didn't. I said I did. They called the doctor, who told them that, yes, I did have to wear an immobilizer. Apparently, since I said "brace" that was the problem. Idiots.
So, I've been spending the last week recuperating. I'm doing my very painful exercises religiously (two that have to be done hourly, one that has to be done three times a day), but mostly just sitting in my lazyboy, playing Xbox, and taking copious amounts of very strong pain killers. I'm using crutches to get around the apartment, and can't put any weight at all on my left leg. However, the pain is getting better, and the swelling has gone down a lot. The range of motion is starting to come back though, slowly.
There's more to tell, I think, but I believe I've about reached the amount of time I can spend away from the lazyboy for right now. Another update soon.
Right now my bipolar is Surprisingly Level (though it's been Kinda Depressed or worse for days).
Right now my pain level is 8.75 (now let's get some pain killers in me).
Last Tuesday, I had to be at the hospital at 6:45 AM. My awesome father-in-law, with my equally-awesome sister-in-law in tow, drove me and stayed the whole day (really, I can't say enough great things about him). I wasn't in the waiting room for all that long before they called me into the back to start getting ready. They, as expected, made me put on a gown, asked me a bunch of questions (the same ones repeatedly), and put in an IV. After saying goodbye to my wife and her dad and sister it was time to go in.
I was told the procedure took about an hour and a half. But it took me two hours after that to wake up from the anesthesia. During that time, the doctor came out and showed my wife pictures of the inside of my knee and explained to her what he did, but given the stress of the day, not exactly taking much away from it other than "it was gross" it perfectly understandable. When I finally woke up (and stopped worrying my wife, who was convinced that I wasn't going to), they gave me the aftercare papers and started to send me on my way. It was at this point that I had to remind the nurses that the doctor had told me that I would have to wear some kind of full-leg brace after the surgery. They said I didn't. I said I did. They called the doctor, who told them that, yes, I did have to wear an immobilizer. Apparently, since I said "brace" that was the problem. Idiots.
So, I've been spending the last week recuperating. I'm doing my very painful exercises religiously (two that have to be done hourly, one that has to be done three times a day), but mostly just sitting in my lazyboy, playing Xbox, and taking copious amounts of very strong pain killers. I'm using crutches to get around the apartment, and can't put any weight at all on my left leg. However, the pain is getting better, and the swelling has gone down a lot. The range of motion is starting to come back though, slowly.
There's more to tell, I think, but I believe I've about reached the amount of time I can spend away from the lazyboy for right now. Another update soon.
Right now my bipolar is Surprisingly Level (though it's been Kinda Depressed or worse for days).
Right now my pain level is 8.75 (now let's get some pain killers in me).
Monday, November 2, 2009
One More Day
So, my surgery is tomorrow. And I'm nervous as hell.
I really, honestly, don't care about getting off the cane. Seriously, that doesn't matter to me. It isn't the issue. If I had instability problems or was in a wheelchair but had no pain, I wouldn't even consider surgery for a second. I just don't want to hurt anymore. But what if the surgery doesn't take? What if I come out worse than when I went in? Then I'll be in even more pain than I'm in now. I'll have to take more and stronger pain killers. As it stands I already feel like an addict sometimes. And I'm sure I look like one to a lot of people.
In other news, I saw my lawyer last week. He told me that my wife makes too much money for me to get SSI and I've been out of work so long that that it might be hard to get SSDI. He said that I have a very good case, with all that was already in my file plus the recent addition of the seizures (or migraines or whatever) and the vertigo. Though it might not matter. I could win and still not get any money. If it looks like that will be what happens, then my lawyer won't handle my case and I don't have a lawyer anymore.
But they still faxed over the paperwork for the continuance for me. I got a call from Social Security this morning saying that I didn't get approved for it. I explained to the woman on the phone that I have surgery only days before, and that I'd be coming to the hearing in a wheelchair, in leg brace, on heavy pain killers. I explained that I was told this wasn't really my hearing, but that thing where they show you the video and explain the hearing process and tell you to get a lawyer. Since this is my third time going through this, I asked if I really even needed to go. Of course, she said yes. She did say she'd talk to the judge and try to postpone it. I told her that if she couldn't, I'd still come, though I didn't know how lucid I'd be.
On the other hand, the day I went to see the lawyer, someone actually offered me their seat on the bus. So there's that.
Right now my bipolar is Surprisingly Level.
Right now my pain level is 6.5.
I really, honestly, don't care about getting off the cane. Seriously, that doesn't matter to me. It isn't the issue. If I had instability problems or was in a wheelchair but had no pain, I wouldn't even consider surgery for a second. I just don't want to hurt anymore. But what if the surgery doesn't take? What if I come out worse than when I went in? Then I'll be in even more pain than I'm in now. I'll have to take more and stronger pain killers. As it stands I already feel like an addict sometimes. And I'm sure I look like one to a lot of people.
In other news, I saw my lawyer last week. He told me that my wife makes too much money for me to get SSI and I've been out of work so long that that it might be hard to get SSDI. He said that I have a very good case, with all that was already in my file plus the recent addition of the seizures (or migraines or whatever) and the vertigo. Though it might not matter. I could win and still not get any money. If it looks like that will be what happens, then my lawyer won't handle my case and I don't have a lawyer anymore.
But they still faxed over the paperwork for the continuance for me. I got a call from Social Security this morning saying that I didn't get approved for it. I explained to the woman on the phone that I have surgery only days before, and that I'd be coming to the hearing in a wheelchair, in leg brace, on heavy pain killers. I explained that I was told this wasn't really my hearing, but that thing where they show you the video and explain the hearing process and tell you to get a lawyer. Since this is my third time going through this, I asked if I really even needed to go. Of course, she said yes. She did say she'd talk to the judge and try to postpone it. I told her that if she couldn't, I'd still come, though I didn't know how lucid I'd be.
On the other hand, the day I went to see the lawyer, someone actually offered me their seat on the bus. So there's that.
Right now my bipolar is Surprisingly Level.
Right now my pain level is 6.5.
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